Facing surgery can be scary. Whether it’s a minor procedure or something more serious, it’s normal to feel nervous.
If you know someone going through this, you may wonder what to say to someone who is about to have surgery.
The right words can bring comfort, peace, and strength. But sometimes, even kind intentions can come out the wrong way.
In this post, we’ll help you find supportive, kind, and thoughtful things to say. You’ll also learn what not to say and why. Let’s make sure your words help your loved one feel calm and cared for.
Comforting Words That Show You Care ❤️
Sometimes the best words are simple and full of love. Letting your friend or family member know you’re there can mean the world.
Try saying:
- “I’ll be thinking of you and sending you good vibes.”
- “You’ve got this. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
- “Take it one step at a time. You’re not alone.”
Example:
Mia’s sister was having knee surgery. Instead of giving advice, Mia said, “I’ll be at the hospital when you wake up.
You don’t have to face this alone.” That helped her sister feel calmer right away.
Avoid over-promising like:
- “Don’t worry it’ll be nothing!”
Even if you want to ease their fear, pretending surgery is easy may feel dismissive.
How to Offer Encouragement Without Sounding Cliché?
It’s easy to fall back on phrases like “Everything will be fine.” But your loved one might want something more personal.
Instead, speak from the heart:
- “I admire how strong you are facing this.”
- “You’re doing something brave and important for your health.”
- “If you need anything really anything please let me know.”
Real-life example:
Jake told his friend, “I know you’re nervous. That’s okay. You’re doing the right thing.” His honest words gave comfort without trying to fix everything.
Avoid saying:
- “You’ll be back on your feet in no time!”
This can feel rushed. Give space for healing, not pressure to bounce back.
What to Avoid Saying Before Surgery (And Why)?
It’s just as helpful to know what not to say. Even kind people can make comments that don’t land well.
Avoid saying:
- “My uncle had the same surgery. It was awful.”
- “What if something goes wrong?”
- “At least it’s not [worse condition]!”
Why it matters:
These phrases focus on fear, compare pain, or shift attention away from the person. Instead, keep the focus on support and hope.
Tip: If you’re not sure what to say, listen. A hug or sitting nearby in silence can speak volumes.
Short and Supportive Messages to Send or Text
If you can’t be there in person, a kind message still helps. Keep it short, sweet, and warm.
Examples:
- “I’m thinking of you. You’re not alone.”
- “Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way.”
- “You’ve got this. I’ll check in soon.”
Texting tip: Add a heart emoji ❤️ or a soft smile 🙂 to make it feel friendly and caring.
What not to text:
- “Can you keep me posted on everything?”
They may be too tired to reply. Instead, let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready.
Real-Life Examples: What Helped Others Feel Better
Here are a few short stories of people who found comfort through words:
Ella’s coworker sent her a voice message before surgery saying, “I believe in you. You’re strong and smart. I’m rooting for you.” Ella said that made her cry in a good way.
Tom’s friend gave him a small card that read, “Your courage inspires me. Can’t wait to see you back.” Tom kept it next to his hospital bed.
These little actions show that thoughtful words can lift someone’s spirit before surgery.
When Silence or Just Being There Means the Most?
Sometimes, being quiet is the best support. Not everyone wants to talk before surgery. Some may just want your presence.
What you can do:
- Sit with them while they wait.
- Offer to hold their hand.
- Bring a book or playlist they like.
Real example:
Lina’s best friend just held her hand and said, “I’m here.” That was all Lina needed.
Tip: If you don’t know what to say to someone who is about to have surgery, just showing up says plenty.
Final Thoughts
Finding the right words before surgery can be hard. But showing love, support, and calm can make a big difference.
When you wonder what to say to someone who is about to have surgery, remember this: speak from the heart, listen more than you talk, and just be there. That’s what matters most. 💛
