Ever thought about someone from your past and wondered what to say if you reached out? Maybe it’s an old friend, a distant family member, or even a former colleague.
The silence between you may feel heavy, but reconnecting doesn’t have to be awkward or complicated.
If you’ve been searching for guidance on what to say to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, you’re in the right place.
This moment can feel both exciting and scary but it’s also a chance to heal, laugh, or simply say “I’ve missed you.”
Whether you lost touch naturally or life just got busy, there are kind and thoughtful ways to reopen the conversation.
Let’s explore how to reach out, what to avoid, and how to keep things light and genuine. 💬
Start with Something Simple and Honest
When reaching out after a long time, simple is best. You don’t need a grand speech just honesty.
Try a message like, “Hey, I was thinking about you today and wanted to say hi.” That one sentence breaks the ice.
Real-life example: Emily hadn’t talked to her college roommate in five years.
She sent a short message: “Hey! I saw a meme that reminded me of our dorm days and had to reach out.” That message sparked a full conversation and a lunch date two weeks later.
✅ What to say:
- “I know it’s been a while, but I just wanted to check in.”
- “You popped into my mind today how have you been?”
❌ What not to say:
- “Why haven’t you reached out to me?”
- “I guess you forgot about me.” (This can sound like blame.)
Keep it friendly and low-pressure. Your goal is to open the door not to pour out everything at once.
Mention Something You Shared or Remembered
A shared memory is a powerful way to reconnect. It gives the person something familiar to respond to.
Example: “Remember that crazy road trip we took in 2018? I passed that gas station where we got lost made me think of you!”
Memories feel warm. They take you both back to a time when you felt close. That’s a perfect way to remind the person that what you had still matters.
✅ What to say:
- “I heard our old favorite song and couldn’t help but smile.”
- “I drove past [a place you went together] and thought of you!”
❌ What not to say:
- “I bet you don’t even remember this…” (Don’t make them feel guilty.)
Nostalgia can spark laughter, comfort, and curiosity. Let it work its magic.
Ask a Light, Genuine Question
Questions show you care and want to hear about their life. But keep it casual. This isn’t an interview it’s a conversation.
Example: “I saw your post about your new puppy how’s that going?” or “How’s life treating you these days?”
✅ What to say:
- “What’s something new or exciting going on with you?”
- “Have you picked up any new hobbies lately?”
❌ What not to say:
- “So… why did we stop talking?” (Too heavy for a first message.)
Ask about something recent or relatable. You’re planting seeds for the conversation to grow.
Say Why You’re Reaching Out Now
Being open about why you’re messaging can make your message feel more real. Maybe you were thinking of them, or maybe you saw something that reminded you of them. Either way, say it.
Example: “I know we haven’t talked in forever, but I’ve been doing some reflecting lately, and I realized I miss our talks.”
✅ What to say:
- “Life’s been moving fast, and I just wanted to reconnect.”
- “You crossed my mind, and I didn’t want to let the moment pass.”
❌ What not to say:
- “I felt guilty and figured I should text.” (Don’t make it about guilt.)
Keep your message kind and open-hearted. That energy will shine through.
Keep Expectations Low and the Tone Casual
Not everyone will respond right away or at all. And that’s okay. The goal isn’t to demand a reply but to open a window.
Example: “No pressure to reply quickly I just wanted to say hi.”
✅ What to say:
- “Totally understand if life’s busy. Just wanted to check in.”
- “If you’re up for catching up, I’d love to hear from you.”
❌ What not to say:
- “I guess you don’t care if you don’t write back.”
A gentle tone makes it easier for the other person to respond without feeling stressed.
Try Again Later (If It Feels Right)
If you don’t get a reply, don’t take it personally. People get busy, overwhelmed, or might not know how to respond. It’s okay to try again just not too soon or too often.
Wait a few weeks or even months before sending a follow-up. Keep it light: “Still thinking about you no rush to reply, just saying hi again!”
✅ What to say:
- “Just wanted to pop in and send good vibes your way.”
- “Hope all is well thinking of you!”
❌ What not to say:
- “This is my third time texting you really don’t care, huh?” (Yikes!)
Kindness and patience always go a long way. 💛
Conclusion
Knowing what to say to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time doesn’t have to be hard.
Start with something simple, share a memory, ask a light question, and be honest about why you’re reaching out.
Most importantly, keep it kind and low-pressure. You never know your message could lead to a happy reconnection. Sometimes, one small “hello” is all it takes. 🌟
